This year is almost over....

Wow. Christmas is already done and gone, until next year. It's unbelievable how fast these high school years are going. I never believed it when people said that it would pass in a flash. Just think about it, next year, were gonna be SENIORS. This will be our last summer as high school students. We better live it up, cuz after this, were out in the real world. New jobs, new experiences, new people, new friends. It's amazing how fast our yound lives are progressing. I was thinking about Christmas. When I was little, christmas was the BEST! I mean, I used to get loads and loads of presents under my tree. I had 3 other brothers, and our tree used to be jam packed with presents. My dad had to put gifts on the tables, counters, couch. Everywhere. But now, as were getting older. We all want this one thing that cost 2-300$, and then we get like 2 gifts. Well, me anyway. It's like, all the gifts under my tree, arent mine lol. They are other peoples. All my stuff will fit in my stocking! lol. But I still appreciate everything I have and get. Now, when christmas comes around, I'm not worried about what I want. I always think about what my neice and god-son and my nephew and cousins want lol. I remember how christmas was when I was little, and I want them to have that excitement, and fun, and those memories. Christmas isn't as fun for me anymore, but I'm determined to make it great for them.

I remember when I was younger, my parents were divorced when I was very young. I got prestents from both! It was so awesome. It was like I got double the gifts. This year I got alot of little, expensive things, and money lol.

Well, I'm done writing. I'm going to the mall, and gonna blow all my xmas money!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tired, isn't even the word.....

Dude, I am so tired. I don't even know why! I slept fine last night, for once in the past few nights. The last couple days (besides last night), My brother kept me up. He was in his room, playing Xbox 360. Now, my brother has like, extreme anger issues. He was playing Call of Duty 4, and was losing. Every time he lost, he would yell and curse and stomp on the floor, liek a fuckin 5 year old. My brother is soon to be 19 years old! So, I was asleep, and got woke up at 5:00am, because of his ranting. My dad woke up too, and yelled at him. But my brother is spiteful. He stopped for like 2 minutes, and kept doing it. It was like that for 2 nights in a row. But last night, he wasn't home, so I slept well. Maybe, I'm tired because of the lack of sleep I got the other couple of nights. I dunno. Christmas is so close! and presents are comming! w00t! Santa! lol....I know what I'm getting already. But what I'm really excited about giving my gifts out, and being off of school. I gotta work Christmas Eve, which blows. But oh well. Thts how it goes. I gotta go fix my stupid study island bullshit. L8a!

AIn't this a Bitch!

It's ironic how, I write about my hate for poetry, and Lon assigns a friggin poetry project! That blows some major monkey ears. lol. The moment he described what the poetry had to be about, I knew what I wanted to write. I wrote my Songs of Innocence poem. It's extremely personal, and I'm reluctant to use that for the project. But I can't think of any other thing to write it about. My poem is personal, to the point where, if Lon criticizes it in a bad way, I'll probably be mad as shit. I wrote it about a really sad and confusing event that happened to me. It's nothing like really bad or anything, just hard to talk about. James thinks that I should write it on something else. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet. I still gotta write my Songs of Experience poem part. I think I'll make my decision after I write the other one.

In one of those moods....

Every once in awhile, I feel a really strong sense to write. Not like writing story's, or random words, but poetry. I know, that sounds crazy. Alix, writing poetry.  I am a poetry HATER. I hate poems. Not the kind of poems that students write. But poems that famous people wrote, that are supposed to be soooo deep and meaningful, but sound like stupid nonsense(I know Catcher and the Rye isn't a poem, but it relates, cuz i think its stupid and full of nonsense and idiotic ramblings). I don't think I'm good at writing poetry, but its a good way for me to vent. I never let anyone read them. Only once. Never again. After I write them, I end up throwing them away. I've even went as far as burning them. The reason is because, when I write them, I put my true feelings and emotions out there. In my poetry, I hide nothing. All my anger and hatred and fear and shame, put out there for anyone to see. No one should ever see that. It's better for people to think that your happy all the time, then to let them see your sorrow.

My not so much, Best Friend.

I knew this girl, for over 5 years. We went to the same grade school, from kindergarden until the 8th grade. We met officialy in the 6th grade, and from then on, we were inseperable. We were perfectly balanced, and so much alike. She was my go-to person, my best friend. We never considered ourselves friends, in our eyes, we were family. sisters. In life, they say you only get a few great friends, and I know, she was one of them. The friends I have now, are nowhere compared to what she was to me. I told her everything. I mean everything. Every little thing about me, every embarassing,horrible,wonferful thing. I told her how I felt, my beliefs, my fears, my weaknesses. She was my exact match. People knew us in school, because of how close we were. They could actually see, how strong our friendship was. It wasn't the type of friendship that only existed in school. We were together after, on weekends. EVery single day.

In the 8th grade, her parents decided to move out of the city. They hated it here. That summer, she left me. She moved over an hour away, Downingtown. For awhile, we talked everyday. She hated it there. I would go to visit her on weekends, and stay for weeks at a time in the summer. It wasn't good, we both hated it. But we stayed close. Now, today. Were not the kind of friends we once were. We hardly speak to eachother, and when she comes to Philly, she never calls me. I see her maybe once every 2 or 3 months now. She knew me better than anyone, and now, she doesn't know me at all. I call her when I need her, and she too. Even though we dont talk much, we will still be there for eachother. But not like before.

I really miss the friendship her and I had. It's been really tough for me. I've had other friends, and I tried to confine in them, and tell them my secrets. But it always turned out for the worse. People who I thought I could trust, betrayed me. I used to be so different then I am now. But I don't trust anyone, anymore. People will confine in me, and I never have told anyone anything. But no one will give me the same courtesy, and I'm not willing to try. I live my life and face my problems alone, without the help and support of my friends. Friendship is an ever-changing thing. Nothing will last forever, I know that from experience. But I can wish, right?

Untitled-

Standing alone in complete darkness

Wondering why my head is so thoughtless

I'm waiting around for someone to see

My beautiful side....

A part of me.

Abortion Discussion!

All over the internet, I see loads of threads or links, all about Abortion. So, why not start a discussion here?

In my opinion, Abortion is wrong. If you don't want to have children, either don't have sex, or use protection. It's relatively simple. People are willing to take their clothes off and have sex, but not willing to face to the  consequences of their actions. A child is a living thing, and the moment a mother becomes pregnant, it will grow into a real, live, person. What if my mother, or your mother, had had an abortion? Abortion is a horrible thing, in most circumstances. Think about why people get them in the first place. How many times have you heard, "Oh, I can't afford to have a baby", or " I'm not ready to be a mother." These are all stupid reasons! You made a choice to have sex, and made the choice to take that risk. But you choose to end an innocent life, due to your mistakes. Ridiculous. Abortion is murder.

But I'm not the type of person who will be ignorant to someone who has had an abortion. I understand that once your in that position, its entirely different than when it actually happens to you Personally. 

This is totally all my opinion, and is not intended to offend anyone.

What do you think? Can abortion be justified? If so, under what circumstances?

Christmas Wrapping! Gifts under the Treee!!!!!

I just got finished wrapping most of the gifts I got for people. I'm 97% finished my christmas shopping. I got everything That needed to be done, done. Now all I have to buy for is my dad, my nephew, and my god-son. This year is going buy so quickly. I can't believe that X-mas is only like 2 weeks away. This year, I'm really excited about christmas, more so than any other christmas before. The reason is because, this year, I was able to buy gifts for all the people that I wanted to, without bugging my dad for money. It makes me really appreciate things alot more, since the gifts were bought with the money I actually earned. YAY christmas! Now I can't wait to give everyone there presents. It's gonna be hard to wait until that special day!

Uh oh.....

I lost my music when I updated my profile....and my slideshow. That shit is WHACK! It took me a long ass time to figure out how to put it the hell on there! Ughh. Pissed off isn't even the word that describes the anger that I'm feeling.....actually I'm not really mad. Just annoyed. Whatever!

The Escalating Sickness in me.....

Earlier I posted saying I was feeling siclky. Well, now I feel even worse. I just got home from a really busy day at work. I'm extra tired and bored. My feet hurt and so does my head. I complain to much. I annoy myself sometimes. lol. Today wasn't an overall bad day. It was just weird. I just miss James. I feels like forever since I've hung out with him. The last time we got to hang out was like last weekend. I seen him during the week, but only for brief periods of time. Blah! I'm going to go chillax for a while, then take sum PM's and take a long, well-deserved sleep. But before that, I'll be reading Breaking Dawn for awhile :) For the second time. Peace out Homies.

Dude, wheres my....schoolbag?

My topic is just so random. I'm in Lon's class, and I'm bored!!!!! I am feeling sickly today. I have work today at 4:00, which sucks. I'm thinking about skipping Saturday SAT prep. I'm just extra tired from working and going to school all week. I need a couple days to recooperate. RAWR! I R TEH PENGUIN!

Oh yea, BTW, PENGUINS PWN PANDAS!

Where Did All My Time Go?

I can' believe that Thanksgiving is over already. It seems like this year is going by so quickly. Where did all of the days go?! I'm happy that the year is coming to an end, and we'll be starting a new one soon. I think about all the hard work I put in, to make it this far at Furness. Next year, I'll be a senior, I'll be graduating, and moving on to bigger and better things. This scares me a little. What am I supposed to do when I'm out of school? How can I possibly afford going to a decent college? Where will I live in 5 years? Graduation brings up all of these questions in my mind. I'm thrilled to find out the answers, and am very enthusiastic about it. I wish I could get a glimpse of what my life will be like, in 10, maybe 15 years from now. I feel like I'm getting so OLD. I'll be 17 this year...OMG. I remember when I turned 13, and I was so happy to be a teen. Now my teenage years are coming to a close, and I'll be embracing adulthood. Catcher and The Rye, got me thinkin to much about what my life will be like. The thing I fear the most though, is losing the closness I have with my father and brothers, my family in general. I look at my father, and how his family is. My dad has 4 other siblings, and they never talk to eachother. I can't imagine not speaking to my brothers. It saddens me to think of it lol. But my life will come out, and depending on my choices and decisions, it will either be good or now. So in my eyes, If i do the right thing now, I'll get what I want for the future.