This year is almost over....

Wow. Christmas is already done and gone, until next year. It's unbelievable how fast these high school years are going. I never believed it when people said that it would pass in a flash. Just think about it, next year, were gonna be SENIORS. This will be our last summer as high school students. We better live it up, cuz after this, were out in the real world. New jobs, new experiences, new people, new friends. It's amazing how fast our yound lives are progressing. I was thinking about Christmas. When I was little, christmas was the BEST! I mean, I used to get loads and loads of presents under my tree. I had 3 other brothers, and our tree used to be jam packed with presents. My dad had to put gifts on the tables, counters, couch. Everywhere. But now, as were getting older. We all want this one thing that cost 2-300$, and then we get like 2 gifts. Well, me anyway. It's like, all the gifts under my tree, arent mine lol. They are other peoples. All my stuff will fit in my stocking! lol. But I still appreciate everything I have and get. Now, when christmas comes around, I'm not worried about what I want. I always think about what my neice and god-son and my nephew and cousins want lol. I remember how christmas was when I was little, and I want them to have that excitement, and fun, and those memories. Christmas isn't as fun for me anymore, but I'm determined to make it great for them.

I remember when I was younger, my parents were divorced when I was very young. I got prestents from both! It was so awesome. It was like I got double the gifts. This year I got alot of little, expensive things, and money lol.

Well, I'm done writing. I'm going to the mall, and gonna blow all my xmas money!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tired, isn't even the word.....

Dude, I am so tired. I don't even know why! I slept fine last night, for once in the past few nights. The last couple days (besides last night), My brother kept me up. He was in his room, playing Xbox 360. Now, my brother has like, extreme anger issues. He was playing Call of Duty 4, and was losing. Every time he lost, he would yell and curse and stomp on the floor, liek a fuckin 5 year old. My brother is soon to be 19 years old! So, I was asleep, and got woke up at 5:00am, because of his ranting. My dad woke up too, and yelled at him. But my brother is spiteful. He stopped for like 2 minutes, and kept doing it. It was like that for 2 nights in a row. But last night, he wasn't home, so I slept well. Maybe, I'm tired because of the lack of sleep I got the other couple of nights. I dunno. Christmas is so close! and presents are comming! w00t! Santa! lol....I know what I'm getting already. But what I'm really excited about giving my gifts out, and being off of school. I gotta work Christmas Eve, which blows. But oh well. Thts how it goes. I gotta go fix my stupid study island bullshit. L8a!

AIn't this a Bitch!

It's ironic how, I write about my hate for poetry, and Lon assigns a friggin poetry project! That blows some major monkey ears. lol. The moment he described what the poetry had to be about, I knew what I wanted to write. I wrote my Songs of Innocence poem. It's extremely personal, and I'm reluctant to use that for the project. But I can't think of any other thing to write it about. My poem is personal, to the point where, if Lon criticizes it in a bad way, I'll probably be mad as shit. I wrote it about a really sad and confusing event that happened to me. It's nothing like really bad or anything, just hard to talk about. James thinks that I should write it on something else. I dunno what I'm gonna do yet. I still gotta write my Songs of Experience poem part. I think I'll make my decision after I write the other one.

In one of those moods....

Every once in awhile, I feel a really strong sense to write. Not like writing story's, or random words, but poetry. I know, that sounds crazy. Alix, writing poetry.  I am a poetry HATER. I hate poems. Not the kind of poems that students write. But poems that famous people wrote, that are supposed to be soooo deep and meaningful, but sound like stupid nonsense(I know Catcher and the Rye isn't a poem, but it relates, cuz i think its stupid and full of nonsense and idiotic ramblings). I don't think I'm good at writing poetry, but its a good way for me to vent. I never let anyone read them. Only once. Never again. After I write them, I end up throwing them away. I've even went as far as burning them. The reason is because, when I write them, I put my true feelings and emotions out there. In my poetry, I hide nothing. All my anger and hatred and fear and shame, put out there for anyone to see. No one should ever see that. It's better for people to think that your happy all the time, then to let them see your sorrow.

My not so much, Best Friend.

I knew this girl, for over 5 years. We went to the same grade school, from kindergarden until the 8th grade. We met officialy in the 6th grade, and from then on, we were inseperable. We were perfectly balanced, and so much alike. She was my go-to person, my best friend. We never considered ourselves friends, in our eyes, we were family. sisters. In life, they say you only get a few great friends, and I know, she was one of them. The friends I have now, are nowhere compared to what she was to me. I told her everything. I mean everything. Every little thing about me, every embarassing,horrible,wonferful thing. I told her how I felt, my beliefs, my fears, my weaknesses. She was my exact match. People knew us in school, because of how close we were. They could actually see, how strong our friendship was. It wasn't the type of friendship that only existed in school. We were together after, on weekends. EVery single day.

In the 8th grade, her parents decided to move out of the city. They hated it here. That summer, she left me. She moved over an hour away, Downingtown. For awhile, we talked everyday. She hated it there. I would go to visit her on weekends, and stay for weeks at a time in the summer. It wasn't good, we both hated it. But we stayed close. Now, today. Were not the kind of friends we once were. We hardly speak to eachother, and when she comes to Philly, she never calls me. I see her maybe once every 2 or 3 months now. She knew me better than anyone, and now, she doesn't know me at all. I call her when I need her, and she too. Even though we dont talk much, we will still be there for eachother. But not like before.

I really miss the friendship her and I had. It's been really tough for me. I've had other friends, and I tried to confine in them, and tell them my secrets. But it always turned out for the worse. People who I thought I could trust, betrayed me. I used to be so different then I am now. But I don't trust anyone, anymore. People will confine in me, and I never have told anyone anything. But no one will give me the same courtesy, and I'm not willing to try. I live my life and face my problems alone, without the help and support of my friends. Friendship is an ever-changing thing. Nothing will last forever, I know that from experience. But I can wish, right?

Untitled-

Standing alone in complete darkness

Wondering why my head is so thoughtless

I'm waiting around for someone to see

My beautiful side....

A part of me.

Abortion Discussion!

All over the internet, I see loads of threads or links, all about Abortion. So, why not start a discussion here?

In my opinion, Abortion is wrong. If you don't want to have children, either don't have sex, or use protection. It's relatively simple. People are willing to take their clothes off and have sex, but not willing to face to the  consequences of their actions. A child is a living thing, and the moment a mother becomes pregnant, it will grow into a real, live, person. What if my mother, or your mother, had had an abortion? Abortion is a horrible thing, in most circumstances. Think about why people get them in the first place. How many times have you heard, "Oh, I can't afford to have a baby", or " I'm not ready to be a mother." These are all stupid reasons! You made a choice to have sex, and made the choice to take that risk. But you choose to end an innocent life, due to your mistakes. Ridiculous. Abortion is murder.

But I'm not the type of person who will be ignorant to someone who has had an abortion. I understand that once your in that position, its entirely different than when it actually happens to you Personally. 

This is totally all my opinion, and is not intended to offend anyone.

What do you think? Can abortion be justified? If so, under what circumstances?

Christmas Wrapping! Gifts under the Treee!!!!!

I just got finished wrapping most of the gifts I got for people. I'm 97% finished my christmas shopping. I got everything That needed to be done, done. Now all I have to buy for is my dad, my nephew, and my god-son. This year is going buy so quickly. I can't believe that X-mas is only like 2 weeks away. This year, I'm really excited about christmas, more so than any other christmas before. The reason is because, this year, I was able to buy gifts for all the people that I wanted to, without bugging my dad for money. It makes me really appreciate things alot more, since the gifts were bought with the money I actually earned. YAY christmas! Now I can't wait to give everyone there presents. It's gonna be hard to wait until that special day!

Uh oh.....

I lost my music when I updated my profile....and my slideshow. That shit is WHACK! It took me a long ass time to figure out how to put it the hell on there! Ughh. Pissed off isn't even the word that describes the anger that I'm feeling.....actually I'm not really mad. Just annoyed. Whatever!

The Escalating Sickness in me.....

Earlier I posted saying I was feeling siclky. Well, now I feel even worse. I just got home from a really busy day at work. I'm extra tired and bored. My feet hurt and so does my head. I complain to much. I annoy myself sometimes. lol. Today wasn't an overall bad day. It was just weird. I just miss James. I feels like forever since I've hung out with him. The last time we got to hang out was like last weekend. I seen him during the week, but only for brief periods of time. Blah! I'm going to go chillax for a while, then take sum PM's and take a long, well-deserved sleep. But before that, I'll be reading Breaking Dawn for awhile :) For the second time. Peace out Homies.

Dude, wheres my....schoolbag?

My topic is just so random. I'm in Lon's class, and I'm bored!!!!! I am feeling sickly today. I have work today at 4:00, which sucks. I'm thinking about skipping Saturday SAT prep. I'm just extra tired from working and going to school all week. I need a couple days to recooperate. RAWR! I R TEH PENGUIN!

Oh yea, BTW, PENGUINS PWN PANDAS!

Where Did All My Time Go?

I can' believe that Thanksgiving is over already. It seems like this year is going by so quickly. Where did all of the days go?! I'm happy that the year is coming to an end, and we'll be starting a new one soon. I think about all the hard work I put in, to make it this far at Furness. Next year, I'll be a senior, I'll be graduating, and moving on to bigger and better things. This scares me a little. What am I supposed to do when I'm out of school? How can I possibly afford going to a decent college? Where will I live in 5 years? Graduation brings up all of these questions in my mind. I'm thrilled to find out the answers, and am very enthusiastic about it. I wish I could get a glimpse of what my life will be like, in 10, maybe 15 years from now. I feel like I'm getting so OLD. I'll be 17 this year...OMG. I remember when I turned 13, and I was so happy to be a teen. Now my teenage years are coming to a close, and I'll be embracing adulthood. Catcher and The Rye, got me thinkin to much about what my life will be like. The thing I fear the most though, is losing the closness I have with my father and brothers, my family in general. I look at my father, and how his family is. My dad has 4 other siblings, and they never talk to eachother. I can't imagine not speaking to my brothers. It saddens me to think of it lol. But my life will come out, and depending on my choices and decisions, it will either be good or now. So in my eyes, If i do the right thing now, I'll get what I want for the future.

Penguins are the SHit

I have a HUGE obsession with Penguins. I think they are the cutest things in the entire world. If anyone wants to get me a Christmas gift, I would want anything to do with Penguins. I mean ANYTHING. Or Tinkerbell, I love her too. But I love penguins more. My name is Penguin, and I am a tropical penguin. :)

Stressin is a big BITCH!

I have been stressin so much these past few weeks. I've been experiencing emotions and actions that are not like myself. School always has me stressed out, I'm afraid I'm falling behind. I have gotten extremely lazy. For as long as I can remember, I have HATED people who were over sensative and overly dramatic about everything that goes on in their life. Like people who were with guys that they always fought with over the same stupid shit, all of the time. I try to make people see me as a very strong willed person. It has always been easy for me to hide what's bothering me, and make people think that nothing anyone says or does effects me. But recently, it's becoming harder and harder to hide it. Normal teenage drama doesn't have any effects on me, I feel like I'm to old and mature for little kid and teenage problems. But I'm dealing with teenage problems that I've never had to deal with before. I mean, I've been through so much drama with other teenagers in my life, that I know how to handle anything that comes at me. But these new things, they are so crazy. I find myself not being able to hold anything back. I never used to cry. I mean NEVER. Nothing could make me cry, and no one had ever seen me cry before. But now, I can cry. I don't like being able to cry, and when people see me cry, I feel ashamed. I feel weak and vunerable when people see me crying. I make it sound like I cry everyday, but thats not the case. I mean that, it's easier for me to become upset and emotional over every little thing. I guess it's just a phase....ughh I hate the word...I don't go through phases! But, yes, I believe it is so. Gosh I'm such a dumbass. I shouldn't let stupid things effect me......I WILL GET OVER IT! lol.  *Muahz*

Lyrics # 1

Rascal Flatts-Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright
You'll be alright

(Chorus)
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand
Then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Chorus (x1)

Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place, yea Ooohhh

Chorus (x1)


I really love this song. Everytime I'm feeling like my life is becoming overwhelming and I'm stressed, I always listen to it. It just empowers me and makes me feel better. Alot of times I feel like I can't achieve the things I want, or I feel like I'm going to loose my mind, I just listen to this song, and it keeps me strong.

Just another boring day....

Today we had a half day, which was good. I had a couple things that I had to after school, and now I'm realizing that I forgot to do my spanish work. I was concentrating on my essay's instead on the other little things I needed. I do not feel like doing it, at ALL. I'm tired and would rather go to sleep, even though its only like 8:30. I have work tomorrow, which also sucks. But I get my check, so I'm kinda happy. I hate being paid only every 2 weeks. I spend all my money in the first couple of days that I get it. But not this time, I opened a checking and savings account. Now I'll have to save, and that will be good.

Sick Dayzz!

Ughh, I hate being sick. For the last week, yes, 7 days, I've been sick. I went to school wendsday, only to take the PSAT, Then I got out early. I wasn't aloud to go back to school until I went to the doctor, thanks to our wonderful nurse. So, I had an appointment thursday morning, and it turns out that I'm not dieing(lol). I just have a bad sinus infection. GAY. I got meds and stuff, so I'll be back in school on monday. I missed likw 2 1/2 days. I'm going to have alot of make-up work to do. Oh wellz. But today I'm feeling alot better, and I can talk alomost normal again! yay! The other day I could hardly speak, I wish I had known sign language, or was Italian (LOL). And no, I'm not Italian, alot of people think I am, but I'm not. Sunday is my nephews Christaning, I'm going to be his godmother. I have to go buy something nice to wear lol.

F=Failure.

I got my college essay back and I failed it miserably. I knew it wasn't great, but I didn't think it was that bad....I'm really mad at myself for it. I should have done better and worked harder on it. I'm not good at expressing myself through writing. That F, brought my grade down really far. I had over a 100% average, and now I got a C. I can't believe it. I think having been working alot while that essay was do, effected my progress on it. I just threw it together in like 20 minutes. In a normal english class, that would have been enough to get an A, but I forgot this is AP. I shouldn't have been so careless. I'm going to work on a new essay, and make it better than the last. I want to prove that I can do much better than the last one.

I had a Great Idea!

Ok, well, tonight was back to school night and I went. I was talking to Mr.Lon about the editorial essay, and I came home, and thought about what I should write about. SO, I went on this webiste that gave a bunch of essay topics. The website was:

http://www.goodessaytopics.com/controversial-essay-topics.html

There were so many different topics on there so it would be helpful to alot of people who have no idea what they're going to write about. I chose child abuse, as soon as I seen it. I was like, OMG. lol. But I decided to write it on wheather hitting your children is write or wrong, or for people who say it depends, how far is to far? I think Ill be able to write it well.

Well, I hope the website helped someone. TOODLES!

Duderz!

Rawr. I'm so bored right now.
I went to buy a new bird-cage today. I have a Cockateil. He's so pretty, he is silver and white.
I got him from my boyfriend.
He's not used to the new cage yet, but I hope he does. It was liek 60$.
I'll post a pic of him soon. Toodles!

Sundays!

I hate Sundays. They are so slow and boring. Today especially. I have work at 2:00, which sucks big time. I'm so tired. Blah. My boss bitched at me the yesterday because I got my schedule mixed up like last week. I thought I had to go in 1:00-5:00, but really it was 4:30-9:30. I had already made plans to watch my neice that night. so I couldn't go in work. They were kinda mad because they had no one else to go in. But that was the first time I had ever called out, since I've worked there (Which has been seen the end of june). Alot of the other people that work they call out ALL the time, Show up an hour late, and sometimes dont even show up. And they bitch at me for calling out ONCE, and saying were un-reliable. I wanted to get so smart with him. They call me on my days off and expect me to jump up and go right into work. They had called me one day, and I couldn't go in. I said I had company and couldnt leave. So when he talked to me, he was like, we call you guys in and you never come in. I was like well, I wasn't scheduled for that day, and on my days off I make plans. But I really liek my job. All the people I work with are really nice. *Yawn*

Ap English Essay......

I just got finished writing my college essay, and I am SO not pleased with it. I hate it so much, but theres nothing else for me to talk about thats the least bit interesting. I've been so stressed about this essay and it turned out so shitty. I don't know what else to write about!! Everytime I stop and think about college I get so incredibly scared. I'm deathly afraid of rejection. I fear that every college I apply to will deny me. It seems like a nerdy thing to be scared of, but I truly am. If someone so much as mentions college, I get so stressed. I shouldn't be like that, I know, but I can't help it. PSSA and SAT's are this year, and I am so terrified. I know how important this year is, and the thought of that is just pressing on me. I'm afraid of failing. Gosh, I sound like such a NERD!! Oh well. What to do, what to do, what to do..............

Work and School.

I'm startting to find it a little stress-full to have a job and be in school.

I have to work alot this week, and I also have alot of work to do.

It's even more stressful because I have 2 AP classes, along with all my other

classes, to keep up with. These stupid college essays are really annoying.

I really don't want to quit my job. I need the money for christmas (Yes, I started saving already), and I'm going to be my nephews godmother. So, I'm buying his Christining outfit.

But if my grades start to slip, I'll have to ask for my hours at work to be cut.

Which would suck, but its better than nothing.

This Ap english essay is a big annoyance. I hate writing about my life.

It's boring and sounds lame. I knwo I'm not going to do well on it.

I didn't even start it yet, and its due tomorrow. I'm gonna write it after school.

I hope Mr.Lon dosen't actually read these. I think he'd be pissed.

I know were supposed to work and think hard about it, and I have.

But nothing comes to mind when I think of this essay for college.

I'll think of something.

Almost time for school. Gtg.

-ALix

Summer is OVER.

Today's sunday. I hate sundays.

Sunday means that tomorrow is Monday.

Which means that I have school.

It sucks.

I'm still not used to going to school yet.

I Miss the summer time,

and being able to do whatever I wanted.

This summer was the best and I'm sad that its over.

Weekends I work, So it's like I never get a break.

well, except this weekend.

I had yesterday and Today off.

LUcky me! Yay!

Toodles!

AP American History Report!

I just finished myAmerican History report. It took me ALL day. I hate writing about history, I never know which details are important, and which are unimportant. My report came out to be 4 pages. I'm really proud of myself for it, I put alot of work and effort into it, which is something I'm not used to doing at Furness. I think since I've been at this school, I've gotten very lazy. Most of the teachers expectations are very low, so it only takes minimal work to get an A. which in my opinion, is sickening. Why would you become a teacher, if you don't care wheather your students pass or fail? I think that's the majority of teachers in the School District of Philadephia. I absolutley hate coming to school and having teachers give us a 3 minute assignment and expecting that to last the whole period. For some people, it might, because they waste time and don't do the work. Theres no problem with that if the whole class is disruptive. But what about the students who do do the work? We suffer, and don't get the proper education to carry us to college. It's Bullsh**. But, thats Furness I guess. So since i got a shitty education, im screwed for college, which in turn, screws my life, THANK YOU FURNESS! But there are a few teachers in Furness that have been very helpful, so furness isn't a total life-ruiner. I want to thank all the Furness teachers that still care about there students!! w00t!

-I totally went off subject here. I went from english, to teachers. Oh well. lol.

First REAL post.

Heyy!

Right now its 3:54pm. I just got done school a little while ago.

I'm getting ready to go to work, I have to be in by 4:30. Ughh...It sucks.

Today was the third day of school. So far everything is turning out ok.

I don't have any real complaints about my classes.

But my algebra 2 teacher keeps getting smart with me, which is really starting to piss me off.

I'll ask him a question and he retaliates with an attitude.

Whatever!

As for my job, I work at a Dollar Tree.

It's O.K.

I mean, I like getting paid, but i'm just worrying about how having a job and going to school will affect me. I'm tired now, and I still gotta work until 9:00 tonight.

Thank god I have no homework.

Oops. Yes I do. I have a spanish 1 quiz tomorrow.

Bummer!

This whole blogging thing is so weird. I'm used to myspace.

I still have to figure out how to add music and stuffs. Sooner the better, My blog seems so boring lol.

-Alix

Heyy!!

Hey people!
I just edited my blog.
I'm going to do some more at another time.
But for now, this is fine. lol.